Monday, November 6, 2017

"Finkle Billy" (JOEL OSTEEN)

*Warning: PIRATE RADIO is on the air*

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"Wow, is this a church? I wish they could've opened their doors for shelter before the hurricane."

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That reminds me of tonight's Conspiracy Theory show. Did JOEL OSTEEN keep people out of his mega-church on purpose?

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Wait just a minute, I'm a victim of misunderstanding.

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"What did we misunderstand? You posted a message on Twitter YOURSELF. You put pictures of a flooded driveway YOURSELF. And when we ask you about it, you tell us the city had a place for us to go 4 miles down the road and nobody asked you to open your doors to us YOURSELF."

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That's the thing you don't understand. You forgot that none of this is my fault...Praise the Lord.

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"But, all of the bad press you're getting is ALL your fault."

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I think I understand.

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Thank you, Mr Finkle.

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It's obvious to me, this man is one of those reptile people that talk radio is always going on about. That's the only way to explain your lack of human emotion.

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"Hey, can you tell those armed guards to give me one of those blankets? I promise I won't steal it."

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Yes, that'll be 34.99...don't blame me...the Lord charges in mysterious ways.





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